Testimony: Healing from watching the DVD 'Healing PTSD'
Dear Dr. Hutchings,
A few years ago a friend of mine, who has been doing courses through Global Awakening, sent me your DVDs on PTSD. They have been amazing! About 6 years ago, I lived in an abusive environment, in which someone in my husband's family directly cursed my life. Soon after we left and returned to our home in Jerusalem, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I've been around the theological block as whether or not her words caused the tumor, and simply don't know. And I no longer really care! The Lord healed me and that's what matters most! Personally, I prefer to not give that person that much power! It took 7 months of testing to locate the tumor on my pituitary gland, after which I had a neurosurgery to remove it. Recovery from the procedure was a small challenge, but the hormonal recovery after the pressure was lifted from my pituitary gland was really intense and lasted for months. I was pregnant with my second baby 6 months after the surgery, and struggled with severe nausea and vomiting the entire time. I didn't have any family support close by, and we didn't (still don't) have a car. The attack on my body was severe, so an attack on my mind was present as well. It was as if I was drowning and could not find help, even though we had a team of counselors helping us with the abusive extended family, and finding unity on that issue within our marriage. I felt so helpless about everything because I didn't feel the freedom to make my own choices on how that person should relate to our children, or even me since it was coming from my husband's family of origin. And I was so physically sick on top of the emotional wounds. That's just to give a brief summation of what I went through, without the painful details.
Ever since that challenging time, when I get sick with the flu or a cold, and when we prepare for a visit to the States where we will see the abusive relatives, I have horrible PTSD. My thoughts flood with anxiety that I'll be that sick again, and that the person will act out abusively, that I won't have my husbands support..... that I'm ruining my children for life because I'm sick... I have horrible horrible nightmares...
After watching your video the first time, it confirmed that I was dealing with PTSD. In particular, when you discuss how it's better to not ask personal details, that resonated with me. A friend of mine was encouraging me to do a SOZO session, but I had already met with 3 different counselor types and really did not want to rehash all that happened again. The thought of that made me feel panicky. Simply having the affirmation that I was dealing with a trauma, and that I needed a different method of care was an amazing relief!
The second round of viewing, the Lord gave me a word of knowledge. I heard so clear that there was also a curse of division on any relationship where I shared the details of what happened with the relative-by-marriage who cursed my life. That seemed to be the pattern - I'd share my experience and the friend would turn on me. But this understanding was as if The Lord spoke it outright, directly to me. Not even during the inner healing and deliverance meetings had the counselors mentioned this (they are from Ellel Ministries in the UK). I just can't explain how clear it was. I prayed the blood of Yeshua over that curse and asked the Lord to heal those relationships. After that, it became a lot easier to talk through that issue with my husband.
I'm on the third viewing now, and this time, the revelation has been more in regard to my intellectual understanding. I'm really getting that my body was assaulted with violent words, then with the tumor, and then even though the surgery was a positive experience, it was still cutting into my skull and removing physically removing the tumor. All of this followed by the attack on my hormones that kept me so sick, and the sick pregnancy. It wasn't like I witness a something disturbing, as the Vets in the testimonies... it was an ongoing assault - as if I was being pounded by ocean waves over and over again. I saw that connection to fearing for my life as being the entry point for the PTSD to come in.
I haven't had an instant release in the same way the Vets described, but each viewing has carried an anointing of healing, like pulling back onion layers. And both the second and third time, I heard from the Lord "Its time to revisit the PTSD videos." LOL. He is good.
Anyhow, I thought you might like to hear a testimony on how this work the Lord has given you has been a blessing to me, as I find more and more freedom each time I watch and apply what I'm learning. I am hoping that a full release from the weight of that season will lift off of me at some point, though I'm gracious for the healing in parts as it comes!
Blessing, Dr. Hutchings, and please to come to Israel and minister in this area - we're 80% militarized - and we all live through terror attacks (I didn't even get into that) so we have a huge population suffering from PTSD. There's work to do here!